I remember the night well. I had wanted to make a big move in our newly married life and our plans went all awry due to someone else.
I wept bitterly.
I didn’t understand why God wouldn’t allow it to happen. Later of course, I did, as God (in His own perfect timing) took us somewhere else – somewhere where He worked deeply in our hearts and lives.
There are many nights and moments like that one. It seems (often) as if MY plans and agenda are delayed. It’s always frustrating. But hindsight often teaches me what that moment was about. What lessons and truths I would have to learn through those stretching times.
It escapes me why I fail to see that life is like a river. I’m in that river trying to flounder and throw my weight around to swim against a current. A current that God has me in, for a reason. He wants me to go a certain direction at a certain speed. But I fight, and I flounder. Sometimes making progress, other times running out of breath in tears and finally giving in – letting that current take me where it will. It is in those moments that I see relaxing and giving up my control was the best thing to do after all. For that current often leads me to a rock where I can throw out my arms, grab hold, and rest on its strength. IT’S strength. Not my own.
We dive in so often. We dive in headfirst, feet first, or with a little flip in the air. We think we know what is best for our lives. Dipping our toes in and testing out the waters – that too, happens. But we don’t see the whole river and we think we know. WE THINK WE KNOW what it will be like.
I think that’s the beauty of God’s grace. He is there to catch us when we fall. When our own plans fail. Sometimes we fail to consult Him in our dreams and our choices. Other times, we do…but we think we hear His voice and then get confused when everything falls apart. And they do…sometimes….fall apart.
But you know what? It’s okay. God is always there waiting for us to call out to Him. He’s never tired of hearing our voice; always willing to bail us out and redirect us.
That’s a perfect Father, right there. And I’m so thankful.
~ Dionna Sanchez