When You Think Everyone Else Has It All…

Do you ever battle with comparison or giving in to illusions that are not truth?

When you think everyone else has it all – or at least has it all together – you can trick yourself into comparing and thinking you are ‘less than’, in two seconds flat!  You may not even be aware of it.  We have all done it… we see someone whom we admire or want to be like, and we tend to see only what they project.  We don’t mean to be judging on outward appearance, or social status, or what they seem to have or not have, but it happens.  I think it would help us to remember that while they may appear confident and sure of themselves, chances are that may not be their reality.  

They may appear to have it all, but the secret is they are most likely just as nervous, scared, uncertain, or insecure as you are.  We seldom get a glimpse inside to know if the image they project is an act of courage on their part or something they have had to fight for and grow into.  Either way, we can learn so much if we are willing to be honest and share real life.

We all want to give off a great first impression, to put our best foot forward… Oh we want to be confident and secure, bold and loving life.  Some days, we are.  But if we’re honest, we all have those other days – and I think that if we would be more open to sharing our true lives, we’d find a deeper sense of connection to one another! Often  as we really get to know people, we are surprised to find out that they have struggles, too.

I remember hosting a gathering of amazing women in a living room last winter. We chatted over coffee and watched Ann Voskamp talk about finding joy, counting gifts, and being real. The video was over and we were daring each other to share truth… to share an insecurity, a prayer request, something that we could come around and pray in agreement for the power to overcome it – whatever ‘it’ was!

We went around the room, one by one, giving a glimpse into something that we struggle with… self-doubt, fear, lack of confidence, a poverty mindset. The list went on and on, but what I found the most intriguing was the look of utter shock on the faces of the women around the room.

This gathering was one filled with impressive talents and giftings… with powerful women, mothers, servants, leaders… and what we found the most surprising was not that they would admit these vulnerabilities, but that they had them at all in the first place!

We seemed at a loss for words when one of the gals who appears so put together and in control of things shared how she was afraid of rejection… at once, all of us thought, “Wait? You?” (or more accurately, “Wait? You too?”)   When we are honest and willing to share our real lives – even the lives that we live sometimes hidden behind masks – we find that we are not alone.  We find a surprising Community that invites us in, that knows what we feel like and what we overcome on any given day because they feel and overcome the same things. We find we are more alike than we once believed… and in finding that, we find the boldness to keep on being real; to keep on living out loud.

So I encourage you to take down the masks… stop bowing to the pressure to be anything or anyone more than who you are, right now, in this day!  We don’t need to be perfect…


Let’s give grace… to ourselves and to others around us. When we are scared, when we fail, or when we want to run and hide, let us find community both here online and there (wherever that may be for you) in real life.  May we take the risk to be real… to not hide or project an image that is not us.  May we be vulnerable enough to let others see the real us… and in doing so, may we see ourselves a bit more clearly, too.  

I am finding that as we do this, we will remember that no one really has it all together. We’re also more open to learning from others’ strengths and to reaching out and helping in their weaknesses.  When we know that we know that we know that we don’t have to have it all together, …there is such freedom in that!

How do you battle being Vulnerable? Have you found Community that is willing to risk being Vulnerable, and willing to live life out loud? I’d love to hear about it!

Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.


Karrilee is a Wife, a Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend…
She is a Writer, Reader, Pray-er, Photographer, Beach Lover, Laugh Seeker, Life living person, serving God to the best of her ability! She lives in the PNW with her husband and nearly grown girlie and is passionate about diving in deeper with the Lord and inviting others to discover how personal, intimate, abundant His Love is for them! Her life message? Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On.  She loves to share what is on her heart and what the Lord is speaking to her at: http://abidingloveaboundinggrace.blogspot.com



  1. I couldn’t love this more You brought the light to the truth here. Beautiful. Thank you, friend!

    • Karrilee Aggett says

      Yes Ashley – when I read your post yesterday I thought – Wow… I had already written this post… I knew you would love it! <3

  2. Marcy Hanson says

    I love reading your blogs, lady!!

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